All I Lost Was You

by Michael Barnes

All I Lost Was You cover art
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about

All I Lost Was You -- A Industrial Rock concept album about love and its aftermath, spanning over five years in development.

One hour and 15 minutes of 100% independent, original music written, performed and produced entirely by one person.

credits

released 11 January 2011
All songs written, performed and produced by Michael Barnes

Album art by Salome Soe Gschwind-Penski

© Michael Barnes 2011

*Note: streaming songs do not accurately represent quality of downloaded versions.

Official site: www.michaelbarnesmusic.com

Facebook: www.facebook.com#!/pages/Michael-Barnes/142016215813129

tags

tags: alternative industrial industrial metal industrial rock metal Lexington

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all rights reserved

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Track Name: Dragged Down Dreamer
You're so damn cold, you could put out the sun
If only you knew just what you've done
You drag down dreamers into your cell
'Cause you got nothing to show for yourself

If you don't change your ways
Make up for the hearts you've scathed
Nobody's gonna wanna touch you

You'll come back to me sad and lonely
Promises and bullshit stories
But I'm not gonna wanna touch you
Nobody's gonna wanna touch you

Back in the clouds and my mind is free
I'll go as high as I want to be
Without your say about my life
You had it all without a sacrifice

You spin a web to catch your prey
And it's so hard to get away

If you don't change your ways
Make up for the hearts you've scathed
Nobody's gonna wanna touch you

You'll come back to me sad and lonely
Promises and bullshit stories
But I'm not gonna wanna touch you
Nobody's gonna wanna touch you

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: Lesser Man
Back when we began
I ran into some friends
They told that you changed a man
Stole the soul from him
Said you took away his pride
And I know they didn't lie
'Cause he stood that night in front of you
Rivers pouring out of his eyes

The things they said about you
Who knew they all could be true

There were so many things
That always made me think
That you were just a bit too much
For anyone to take
But I gave it all I had
And shut up what I could
Turned into a lesser man
Just the way you knew I would

Just the way you knew I would

The things they said about you
Who knew they all could be true

Now I'm the man with the stolen soul


© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: You Wanted This All Along
I just want another chance
You know I gave you one
Now tell me, how unfair is that
It didn't take much to let you back
Now you're making me go through this
All alone
In the cold, suffering
While you're feelin' so good

And I can't help but think
You wanted this all along

Wish I could feel just as good as you
Wish I could feel just as good as you do right now

I told you I was sorry
But you won't even reply
I don't know what I'm sorry for
'Cause I'm the one with tears in my eyes
You hurt me all you could
Shoved it in my face
I really do get the point
Without you flirting all over the place

I can't help but think
You wanted this all along

Wish I could feel just as good as you

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: Stuck Inside
Stuck inside again
Can't find my way out
Everything is shit
Wonder if I'll live

Seems easy enough
Pulling back the thumb
Can't see what I am
Just what I've become

We all just get stuck sometimes
Don't we all

I know I sometimes feel alone
Even though there are so many who suffer beside me

I know I sometimes feel along
Even though there are so many who suffer more than me

Seems easy enough
Pulling back the thumb
Can't see what I am
Just what I've become

We all just get stuck sometimes
Don't we all

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: The Human Machine
I don't have time to play
I got no time to spare
I'm only here for a little while
Until I'm up in the air

I don't have time to think
I got no time to shrink
I gotta do something real meaningful
Don't wanna work out the kinks

I'm just withering away
As I speak right now
I'm just falling apart
As I break on down
I don't have that sense of security
Of a Christian soul
This is the one little life I've got
So it better be whole

I can't deal with today
It doesn't feel like my dream
It's just the same old boring story
Of every other species

I just work, fuck, play when I can
And die a little every day
This isn't how I want it to be in the end
This isn't how I'm gonna stay

I'm just withering away
As I speak right now
I'm just falling apart
As I break on down
I don't have that sense of security
Of a Buddhist soul
This is the one little life I've got
So it better be whole

I wasn't born to be tried and true
Wasn't born to be just like you
I wasn't made to stand in line
Wasn't made to die inside

(Throwing away your humanity)
(Push it all down just to be a machine)
(Hiding away creativity)
(Push it all down just to be a machine)

I won't let the world make me who I am.

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: Shapeless
I don't know what I am
I can't tell where I stand
I'm just floating around
In this uncertain land

Stuck in a shapeless state
Molded by love and hate
In the mirror I can see
What this world's done to me

I'm shapeless
Formless
Standard-less, I can't conform
I'm broken
And unspoken
I have no take on any fucking thing

I don't know what I mean
Nothing is what it seems
Somebody take my hand
And show me what to see

Something that doesn't lie
Something that will not tie
My hands together and point them up
Into an empty sky

I'm shapeless
Formless
Standard-less, I can't conform
I'm broken
And unspoken
I have no take on any fucking thing

I'm here
And I'm gone
It all makes sense to me now
I know I cannot belong
I am my own identity
My own entity
I knew I never would belong

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: I Remember
It feels like the pain
It feels like the pain will never wear off

The days become darker by each day
My shadow laughs as I wince in pain
She's there one moment and gone the next
The light quickly dies and I'm not surprised

I wish my sight of her had been a lie
But it was real, now I sit and sigh
As I think of what I could have had
Will I find love before I die

It feels like the pain
It feels like the pain will never wear off

Try as I might
It's an endless fight
To wash out her presence
She's here to stay
In my mind for all time
The memory's saved

It feels like the pain
It feels like the pain will never wear off

Try as I might
But it's an endless fight

Like an un-matching pair of gloves
She flies away
Away from me

To wash out her presence
She's here to stay
In my mind, for all time
The memory's saved

It feels like the pain
It feels like the pain will never wear off

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: You and Me
For once in my life someone feels the same
No more wondering if it's for real or a game
I hold you and you hold me even closer
Comfortable silence takes care of the words we don't say

Before I met you time went so slowly but now
I can barely keep up

I try to look back and remember the times
I spent just staring into your eyes
It's so nice to see my reflection
After fighting through multiple veils of rejection

Now I'm in this void where time is destroyed
And what's left is just you and me

We fit together like puzzle pieces
Rest of the puzzle left uncompleted
No worries as to how we'll be placed
Nothing can shake us from our embrace

Now I'm in this void where time is destroyed
And what's left is just you and me

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: When The Sun Has Left Me Cold
I don't wanna go to bed
So I stay up every night
Lost inside my head
Every time I close my eyes

All the thoughts attack at once
While the darkness holds me down
I am wishing for the sleep
To save me from my self

I think of how I'll die
And there's nothing I can do
I think of all the love
That someday I will lose

I wanna rip the arms
Off the clocks that cut away
At the skin of every man and child
Soon as we see our first days

I'm tired of all these thoughts
When the sun has left me cold
I'm tired of thinking while I'm young
Of how I will be old

And I always felt more safe
Before I began to think

Can I sleep tonight
Peacefully please
Let me close my eyes
And drift into a dream

Take me back in time
When this all came with ease
You've taken all my day
Just let me have my sleep

And I always felt more safe
Before I began to think.

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: I Want You To Feel This
I want you to feel this
All you've put me through
I want you to suffer
Just like I do

I wanna shoot you up
With your own drug
Knock you down
Fill you up
Every last drop
With this dead love

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: Kill The Good
You came to me begging
For me to call you mine
You loved what I was then
And you saw my shine

If it weren't for the memories
You'd be what you deserve
Nothing

I gave you all I had
And I hoped for the best
Now I'm here on my own
Gathering what's left

If I could kill the good
You would be nothing to me
You are gone and all I see
Are these broken memories

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: Low
Well now that we're done
I can say what I want
And I'll start with the diamond ring

I offered my love
But that just wasn't enough
You had to have the most expensive things

But I could never afford
Everything you asked for
So I just gave up that tiny little dream

'Cause without that ring
You would have called me a fool
If I had ever gotten on my knees

So now that you're not around
I'm so glad I never hit the ground
I'm so glad I never saw myself
Go that low

Now that we're through
I can do what I want
And I'll start with following my dreams

'Cause when we were one
You tried to ruin my fun
And tell me this tiny little thing

You said if I went too far
And tried to be a rockstar
Our relationship would have to cease

You really made me choose
Between my passion and you
But no one could ever take this from me

And now that we're far apart
I can give this everything I've got
I would never ever let myself
Go that low

You don't deserve my power, little girl
And you don't deserve another's just as well
'Cause you have nothing to offer for all you take
No you're not nearly as special as you think

Now that you're not around
I'm so glad I never hit the ground
I'm so glad I never saw myself
Go that low

And I know you'll get what you need
From someone else who doesn't bleed
When you drag him down into your cave
Kill off every dream, just so he'll behave and go
Low

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: Replicate
I see traces of her everywhere I look
Broken in pieces but obvious enough
Just what I need to bring back the memories
Revitalize the image now again I see

No matter what I do
I cannot escape you

Perfection, the product of her sums
All the beauties and glitches combining together as one
Complications only texture
Her song of colorful complexion

The way she smiled
The way she sighed
Those loving lips
Those pretty eyes
They're only as good as the whole
No other can replicate her soul

No matter what I do
I cannot escape you

No other can replicate her soul

No matter what I do
I cannot escape you

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: Leave Me In Peace
I'm tired of dreaming about you
This world is so behind
My brain figures out what I can't think about
But in my dreams you're still inside

I can't keep wanting you,
When it's you who I can't have
I have to accept that you're gone for good
And try not to be so sad

Hate to sound like a cliche
But you left me alone
You left me for dead
Now leave me in peace

I'm tired of dreaming about you
You can't be in my mind
My life needs to be in the foreground
And you keep pushing it aside

You're not even what I made you to be
You're just an unobtainable fantasy
You're nothing like the image in my brain
What do I have to do to remove this stain

Hate to sound like a cliche
But you left me alone
You left me for dead
Now leave me in peace

I am so tired of dreaming
Dreaming of you

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: The Detachment Process
Get rid of everything that reminds you
Stay away from every place that reminds you
Don't talk to the ones who reminds you
Never say that name again, 'cause now it's obscene

Maybe I'm just an obsessive son of a bitch
Maybe I just live in my head a little too much
Maybe that's what lets me do what you hear now
Maybe that's all I really need anyhow

Don't play the same old songs (it's behind you)
Don't watch the same old films (it's behind you)
Just move on to the next one (it's behind you)
But what if there's no one (Misery will follow you)

Maybe I'm just an obsessive son of a bitch
Maybe I just live in my head a little too much
Maybe that's what lets me do what you hear now
Maybe that's all I really need anyhow

So this is what it's come to
This is what it's come down to
This is the detachment process

Wash away everything
Turn the best into nothing
This is the detachment process

Get rid of everything that reminds you
Stay away from every place that reminds you
Don't talk to the ones who reminds you
Never say that name again, 'cause now it's obscene

Maybe I'm just an obsessive son of a bitch
Maybe I just live in my head a little too much
Maybe that's what lets me do what you hear now
Maybe that's all I really need anyhow

So this is what it's come to
This is what it's come down to
This is the detachment process

Wash away everything
Turn the best into nothing
This is the detachment process

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: Stages of a Broken Heart
Much like the stages of death
Denial, isolation are the first to rear their ugly heads
Confined in your space and you can't believe
That this is the way it's going to be

All of this
For nothing
None of this
Is working
All you did
Was hurt yourself

Masochism comes in all sizes

Anger sets in steadily
You feel it more the harder you breathe
Try to place it on the other
But it's not always what it seems

Bargaining your way on through
You hope the others still like you
Or maybe they never even did
Which brings us to the next event

Depression crawls inside your head
Plotting misery dangerously
And then it's all okay
You accept the fucking pain

All of this
For nothing
None of this
Is working
All you did
Was hurt yourself

Masochism comes in all sizes

Come on everyone, let's dance to our misery
Come on everyone, let's dance to our misery
Come on everyone, let's dance to our misery
That we've brought unto ourselves

All of this
For nothing
None of this
Is working
All you did
Was hurt yourself

Masochism comes in all sizes

All you did
Was hurt yourself

© Michael Barnes 2011
Track Name: Ghost
Sometimes it just seems like everyone's so far away
And nothing I could do could ever bring them back
Lost in a hell that I built all myself
Seeking release but there's no way out

Sometimes it just feels like I'm erased from memories
Or maybe I was never really there all along
A ghost though I walk in a world full of pain
Feeling too much against the ignorant grain

But when I look at a lot of the world
Being a ghost isn't so bad

And we are far too close
To be so distant
If I broke on down
Would you even feel it

If I rose up high
Would it reveal me
Maybe you'll be the ghost
Next time you see me

But when I look at a lot of the world
Being a ghost isn't so bad

© Michael Barnes 2011